What Is Your Attachment Style? The 4 Patterns ThatShape Your Relationships

Have you ever found yourself asking, “Why do my relationships keep playing out the same way? ”Maybe you feel like you care more than your partner… or you pull away when things start to feel tooclose… or you’re not sure how to fully trust love when you have it.You’re not “too much.” You’re not “too distant.” You’re likely operating from an attachment style—apattern shaped by your earliest experiences with connection, safety, and emotional needs.When people seek me out as a therapist, I always remind them—I’m a person first and a therapistsecond. A lot of the things I’m passionate about come from lived experience.

A Real-Life Example (My Story)

I didn’t learn about attachment styles in a classroom — I learned about them through heartbreak. Aftermy marriage ended, I entered a relationship that lacked progression despite emotional connection.The more I leaned in, the more he pulled away. Over time, I realized I was in a push-pull dynamic.Even though I am secure at my core, being in that dynamic caused me to become anxiously attached. Important nugget of truth: Your attachment style can shift depending on who you’re in relationshipwith.